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Dealing with a lost friendship or relationship

People leave!!! People come and go as they please, this is a fact and the earlier we accept this the better. Nothing lasts forever, not even happiness. I always advise that you live in the moment, enjoy, and cherish times spent with loved ones but most importantly to recognize when it’s all over and know how and when to move on. Dwelling might seem like you are getting some respite but sometimes “the only way is the way through”, so you must pick yourself up and move on.

Moving on is another topic to discuss, people handle this differently. Some hang on to the memories and reminisce endlessly on how things used to be while others “rip the band-aid off” quickly by severing all ties and pushing all memories aside to make it easier for them to handle the loss. It is ultimately like a grieving and coping process for them. No matter how you want to handle or deal with it, people’s involvement in our lives is always finite and just living by this simple notion can make our lives a lot easier.

I won’t personalize this experience because almost every one of us has been walked out on before and for those that haven’t experienced it yet, “brace yourselves for impact”, I would say. Different chapters of our lives force us to reevaluate our relationships or friendships. I liken it to “shedding old skin”, we are forced to, even if we really don’t want to. We might not have a choice than to drop some old friends or just be physically or emotionally unavailable based on our current circumstances. This is not to say, you shouldn’t invest your time and emotions into building long-lasting friendships, this is me saying “play your part in their lives, enjoy the moments, create beautiful stories” because great friendships and relationships are the fundamental ingredient to leading a beautiful life.

I would judge how well I think I have lived by the number of lives I have touched, the number of people I have impacted positively and the number of people who could tell a story, not just any story but an intriguing one of how I came into their lives when they least expected it, or when they needed friendship, companionship, or just when they needed a shoulder to lean on the most. I currently have few friends, but my magic is not in numbers but in the quality of the friendships I build and try to maintain. I am blessed to have my friends and I would say they are equally fortuitous to have me.

So, are you struggling today with a loss that you think you can’t overcome? A heartbreak that has left your world crumbling? Or just someone whose impact in your life hit a crescendo and then the person just disappeared? You can share how you feel in the comments section and how you have dealt with it so far. We all can help one another heal the wounds left behind or try to fill that void that is all so overwhelming now.

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11 thoughts on “Dealing with a lost friendship or relationship

  1. Wow, this really spoke to me today! Last fall, I had an argument with someone who’d been a close friend for many, many years. We’ve barely communicated since then, and even though I’ve tried to stay in contact a few times, I’ve felt very guilty about not trying to do more. Yet paradoxically, I’ve also felt relieved to be finished with what had become a somewhat difficult relationship. I really appreciate your thoughts – perhaps it was just time to to let go!

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    1. From what you have described, you have tried reaching out from time to time. I wouldn’t blame myself for not doing more if I were in your shoes. To me it is all about effort and reciprocity. More often than not, moving on is the way to go but people always want closure. I think thats overrated and would be a topic for a subsequent post. Thanks for reading and am glad you found it helpful

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  2. like you said “most importantly to recognize when it’s all over and know how and when to move on”. the problem is recognizing when it over cos most times the signs aren’t there until its late.
    For me , from my experience i would say never let your guard down, be sensitive and attentive to little details cos they say a lot.

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    1. Yes I agree, little thing people say or do show a lot about their intentions and these should definitely not be ignored.Never letting your guard down might be a tad extreme but be present, be attentive like you said and it would all be clear.
      Thanks for reading.

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  3. i forgot to add that this is so nice and it speaks to everyone because a lot of people are struggling with recognizing it over and its time to move on. NICE ONE

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  4. For me,I hate goodbyes and I hardly let go but recently life has taught me this in the most difficult ways. People I least expect walked away and now I know am stronger for it, I recognise the signs better and I know when to draw the line and I don’t expect too much from anyone anymore. Moving on can be hard but holding on to what is over can be more hurtful. Thanks for this piece…its such a good read👌👍👏

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    1. We learn daily from life experiences and become stronger. I am sorry you had to learn through difficult circumstances but still like I said the reality is that we have to deal with this at one point or the other. Thanks for reading and I am glad you like it.

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  5. …I currently have few friends, but my magic is not in numbers but in the quality of the friendships I build and try to maintain… bro. So the more no be the merrier again! You harsh o. Lol. I really enjoyed the piece. As a recently bereaved mum, I miss my boy so much and saying goodbye to him made me stop hating goodbyes. I now appreciate that it’s part of life. Keep writing. We love your pieces Ezimen. Is there a way for us to subscribe to your blog so we can get updates ?

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    1. The number is maybe kind of overrated, just make sure you have quality. People who love, support and call you out when you are selling your self short. Thanks for the support always, I really do appreciate it and yes you can subscribe to the blog to get alerts when there are new posts.

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